England Manager calls for Television Scheduling Rethink

England boss Roy Hodgeson wants television companies to stop showing his players favourite programmes whilst they are on international duty as none of them know how to set Sky plus to record.

Hodgeson hates missing The Big Bang Theory

There have been reports of trouble within the England camp with some members of the squad refusing to play if it means missing shows such as ‘Banged Up Abroad’ or ‘The Hotel Inspector’.

One solution being put forward by the England manager is that International matches are played on Tuesday lunchtimes when he claims there is f*ck all on that footballer like.

The fact that 23 grown sportsmen are unable to programme a simple recording device comes as no surprise to some. A leading sports psychologist told World of Sports: “Footballers are not like you and me. The finer workings of a TV remote control are far beyond their capacity.” She added: “To be honest most of them are confused by anything with more buttons than a pair of jeans.”

However Hodgeson fears the situation will only get worse with four of England’s eight remaining World Cup qualifiers scheduled to clash with the Friday episode of BBC soap Eastenders.

He told World of Sports: “Theo Walcott has refused to play on Fridays since Sharon Watts came back to Albert Square, as he reckons it’s only a matter of time before she noshes Phil Mitchell off in the arches.” He added: “The lad really doesn’t want to miss that.”