Following publication of official guidelines for appropriate inter-cultural
greetings it is hoped that Sundays Premiership clash between Liverpool and Manchester
Evra Loves a High Five
A recent inquiry
commissioned by the Football Association found that 60% of reported racial
abuse incidents could be attributed to ‘cultural misunderstandings’, whilst surprisingly
only 40% were down to John Terry.
In response to the
findings the Football Association has developed 286 categories of ‘culturally
appropriate greetings’ which are hoped will enable overseas players to greet
each other as inoffensively as possible.
Trying to explain the
new guidelines an unnamed Football Association gimpnut told World of Sports:
“South American plus French African equals race appropriate high five.” He
added: “That should kick racism out of football.”
South American
shitstorm Suarez told World of Sports: I have no problem high fiving Patrick,
but if he follows it with a ‘down low’ to make me look the prick I’m bringing
his mom into it.”
The 4000 page ‘Whasup
Mah Homies: 286 ways to greet the foreigner’ has been distributed to all
Premiership clubs. If successful the FA also plans to publish online standards of
conduct for players in the easy to use ‘Twitter for Remtards’.
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