John Terry decides not to appeal against ‘massive twat’ penalty

John Terry has decided to not appeal against a four game ban imposed by the Football Association after having found the Chelsea Captain guilty of being ‘a massive twat’.

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Terry, who is also know for parking his £100,000 Bentley in spaces reserved for the disabled as well as having sex with Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend said: “I want to apologise to my team mates and all the Chelsea fans for only being a massive first class twat.”

“I know they expect worse from me and I vow to work harder in the future to become the kind of repugnant shit bag they seem to like at this club.”

An independent Football Association panel found serial dickhead Terry guilty of being a massive twat during a game at Loftus Road on 23 October 2011.

In a statement, the club added: “We fully support John’s decision to admit being a massive twat. The club firmly believes that his recent behaviour has fallen below the standard of morally deprived arseholary expected of John as a Chelsea player, although we recognise that becoming an implausible racist is a move in the right direction.”

However The British Society of Twats reacted angrily to the decision calling it an ‘insult’ to genuine twats.

With Terry due to miss Chelsea’s next four domestic matches the captains armband is expected to be handed to air rifle loving greedy shit Ashley Cole.