Lance Armstrong overjoyed to be declared ‘worlds greatest cheat’

Ultra competitive US cycling star Lance Armstrong said he is ‘overjoyed’ after the US Anti-Doping Agency declared him to be “the greatest drug cheat in sporting history”, a title that had been held by fraudulent Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson for over twenty-four years.

Armstrong's team bus 'the vitamin van'

Although he did not refer to the doping scandal directly during his first speech since the USADA named him as the mastermind of a major doping ring, the disgraced Texan did talk at great length about how brilliant he is and how he’s had to overcome serious illness.

Armstrong was speaking at a star studded event to mark the 15^th anniversary of his charity, Livestrong. Although Hollywood A-listers Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan both pulled out of the event claiming they no longer wish to be association with the disgraced cyclist.

The US Anti-Doping Agency published a 1,000-page report last week saying he was a “lying, manipulative, arrogant, serial cheat”.

Armstrong’s lawyer has described the report as “pretty accurate”.

At Fridays fundraiser Armstrong told supporters: “Always strive to be the best you can be in whatever you do, whether it’s your school work, your job, or using £20m dollars of government money to orchestrate the most sophisticated, professionalised and successful doping programme ever seen in sport”.

“This title means more to me than any of my seven Tour de France victories. It proves you can achieve anything in life if you’re willing to take enough steroids to give you cancer”.