Joey Barton Changes Name and Turns French

Eyeball burning QPR outcast Joey Barton’s mental health has been called into question following the stunning announcement that he is no longer Joey Barton but actually French footballer Joe Le Barton.

Burger Muncher Punching Joey

Bookish Barton, who is believed to enjoy the works of Camus, Zola, Hugo and McNab, took to twitter to announce that he doesn’t know who this Joey Barton is and that he is in fact Joe Le Barton, a French citizen. Since the shock announcement the French f*cknut has apparently taken to riding round and round his north London châteaux on a push bike and answering all questions by shrugging his shoulders.

One friend told World of Sport: “Joey has been eating a lot of cheese lately.”

Many in the game will see this as just another desperate attempt by Big Mac loving Barton to get out of his current 12 match ban, although ‘Joey Le Barton’ is reported to have requested a transfer to Ligue 1 club Marseille in order to be closer to his family.

However some experts see this as further evidence that bin case Barton has a multiple personality disorder. One unnamed sports psychologists told World of Sports: “To my poorly trained eye it would appear that Joey Barton now has seven distinct personalities.” He continued: “There's the footballer, the philosopher, the wordsmith, the Frenchman, The teen beater, the pr*ck, and the tw*t. Oh, and the bell end. 8.”