NASA today confirmed that Japanese goalkeeper Schuichi Gonda was indeed visible
from outer space during Monday’s group A clash with Morocco
jesus christ my eyes!
Images taken from the
International Space Station clearly show a massive fluorescent glow emanating from
Gonda’s ridiculous kit.
The news came as no surprise to the
St. James’s Park crowd, many of whom required treatment for sunburn, heat-exhaustion,
and various visual impairments following prolonged exposure to the bonkers shot
stopper.
Four Moroccan players are said to
be recovering well after being airlifted to a specialist burns unit in Edinburgh
TV pundit Mark Lawrenson described
the colour of gordy Gonda’s explosive kit as being: “somewhere between
anti-freeze and a tramp’s p*ss.”
Strangely, this is not the first
time astronauts’ have witnessed unusual football related phenomena. In 1998 crew
onboard the space shuttle Discovery were left stunned when most of northern France
was obscured by a 500 mile wide shadow believed to have been cast by David
Ginola’s ego.
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